Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
