Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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