too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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