Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
