Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I've blown a few things in my day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
