Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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