It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I intend to get homeless drunk
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
