Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A+ Viking dick
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
