how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do vagina's smell?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
