I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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