glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize