My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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