How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
