Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
