I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
