Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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