So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize