His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
