So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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