hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
