Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
