i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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