apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
