I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm bleeding and have questions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
