I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
