I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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