I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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