ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
