My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
