it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so let's talk penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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