My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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