A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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