I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize