Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
