there was a trapeze. enough said
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
