Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
