just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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