So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
