I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
