were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
