i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
