I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
