Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
