what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
