i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He shit in the fireplace
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
