I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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