i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
