Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
