just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
