How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm like, not good at living.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
