Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
