i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
