living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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