"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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