Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
