She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
