there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
