This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
