You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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