Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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