now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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