happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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