Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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