Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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