Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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