dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
