What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
