You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
