all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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