do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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