Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
