peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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