I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
