another moral hangover. fuck.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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