Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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